Archive for March, 2010

When you are struggling to know how to get over a breakup, the chances are good you are going to get lots of advice. And no matter what people tell you and how much they claim you’ll feel better soon, you should know that learning how to get over a breakup is a painful thing

Unfortunately, there’s just no easy way to do it. The pain and hurt from the lost relationship is there and it has to be dealt with. It’s human nature to want to push those feelings aside and move right on to good feelings to take their place. No one wants to hurt!

But you do yourself a disservice if you deny those sad and painful feelings. Let yourself feel them, but don’t let yourself feel them and nothing else. You have to continue to live your life while feeling them.

This is really difficult for some people. The key is to make yourself do things you normally do even if it hurts. You’ll be surprised how quickly this approach works. At first, you’ll have a few minutes without thinking about the relationship, and then the span will be longer. Eventually, you’ll be able to spend a few hours without thoughts of your past relationship popping into your mind.

When you’re searching for answers about how to get over a breakup, especially at first when it’s hard to concentrate on anything else, you might feel like it’ll never pass. But the more you push yourself to get past it, the more readily it will happen.

As soon as you can (and even if you don’t think you can, try to), try to plan some fun activities into your days and weeks. Doing things that you love is good first step in how to get over a breakup. Whether it’s going out to see movies with your favorite actors and actresses, or going skiing, pick things that are special to you

Select activities that you love—and that you loved before your relationship. If skiing or any activity is really special to you but you did it a lot with your ex and it’s only going to make the memories worse, you can decide on something else.

But realize that eventually you will want to do that activity again, and those memories will be there waiting. Don’t let yourself avoid something you love because you’re worried it’ll remind you of your ex boyfriend. That’s just a form of denial.

Make sure that you treat yourself every day to something you love. Bigger and more time consuming activities can be done on days when you have the time, of course. But fit at least one thing in every day to be good to yourself.

It’s especially helpful if you can choose activities that you’ve been wanting to do but maybe didn’t have time for because of the relationship. A bestselling book you always wanted to read but couldn’t because you spent your spare time with your ex, for instance, is a good choice.

It’s hard to learn how to get over a breakup, but keeping yourself busy with things you enjoy can make the sad times pass more quickly.

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You need to say sorry to your boyfriend for something you did, but you’re not sure of the best way to do it.  Saying sorry is actually pretty easy once you get the hang of it.  Of course, a lot depends on what you’re apologizing for.  If it’s a small thing that hurt his feelings, disappointed him or upset him, you can say sorry to your boyfriend a simply as, “I’m sorry.”

If you feel that a simple apology isn’t enough, however, there are other ways you can show your regret. Something that any boyfriend should appreciate is a heartfelt apology that lets him know you understand why he was upset and that you understand the part you played in causing it.  When you say sorry to your boyfriend, just express yourself honestly.

If you’re nervous about doing so, you can make notes ahead of time and even rehearse a little bit. Just tell him that you’re sorry for whatever it was that you did, and that you know it made him feel angry (or upset or disappointed, whatever feeling applies). Explain that it wasn’t intentional, and you should have thought things through better before you did whatever it was that caused his pain.

You can say it a few times to yourself if you’re worried, and then it’ll be easier to say it when you’re looking him in the eye.  If you really have problems saying all that out loud—and that’s possible in some situations—then you can say sorry to your boyfriend by writing it down.

A simple letter explaining how you feel and how sorry you are is something he should appreciate.  Knowing that you took the time to get your feelings and your apology down on paper should go a long way toward easing the hurt.

It’s actually easier to go on longer and express more when you’re writing an apology as opposed to saying it, too.  If you don’t want to write a long letter you don’t have to.  It can be just a few lines if you’d rather just write what you would have said.

In a case like, consider using a card to write your apology in. You can buy greeting cards for any occasion today if you find a large card and stationary store. Cards that say I’m sorry are a pretty popular category.  Find the right one for your boyfriend, whether it’s sincere or funny, and write an apology note on the inside.

Whether or not a gift is an appropriate thing to use to apologize to your boyfriend depends on the situation. If it’s a pretty minor thing, a gift might not be necessary.  But surprising your boyfriend with something special can certain make it easier for both of you to get over the situation.

In some situations, though, it might seem as if you’re trying to buy forgiveness with a gift, and you don’t want that. Say sorry to your boyfriend with words, a note or a card, and save the gift buying for later.

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